Banoffee Ice Cream Sandwich

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Is it hot there? It's hot here. Hotter for the fact that we have yet to haul out our air conditioning units that weigh as much as a 12-year old. Maybe we're too lazy, maybe we're taking the Pope's encyclical to heart and doing our part to forestall the swift march of climate change, and its relentless ravaging of our sister, Mother Earth?  But really, we are very lazy. 

Luckily, there are lots of ways to cool down that require little in the way of heavy-lifting OR advanced planning! An added bonus? The chance to unnecessarily carb-load smack-dab in the middle of swimsuit season! Have I got your attention yet? Good. 

This recipe is a combination of some of my very favorite things (ice cream, bread, butter, sweetened condensed milk), and also there are bananas in it. It's an ice cream sandwich, but not the fluff-filled cardboard ice cream sandwiches of our youth*, NAY! These are exponentially more delicious, more fancy, AND more sandwichy. They're ice cream sandwiches you show off to your friends, bring home to mom, and then? You marry the crap out of 'em. Why? Because they're unique, and perfect, and make you look good and smart (though, also fat). 

Before I get to the nuts and bolts of the treat that will sweeten your sweaty state, a couple of notes. First, some lesser souls might be a bit apprehensive about putting ice cream on bread. Don't be that fool.  And secondly, be very, VERY careful when making your dulce de leche. If you're not, the cans of sweetened condensed milk will explode, and your chest hair might never grow back...**

  Banoffee Ice Cream Sandwiches

1 can sweetened condensed milk or pre-made dulce de leche

2 brioche rolls

1 banana, sliced

1 pint vanilla ice cream

butter

coarse salt

Make your dulce de leche. I use this method , but there are other ways if you're feeling ambitious or scared. Slice your buns in half and butter like no one's looking. Toast the buns on a hot skillet until golden, top with generous amounts of dulce de leche, bananas and ice cream. Sprinkle with salt. Add the lid. Enjoy!

*which, if I'm being perfectly honest, I sometimes really enjoy in all their yuckiness. 

**just ask Shiloh.

***this post was done in collaboration with our friends at Il Forno Bakery in the Bronx. Their breads are impeccable, and if you're near them, do yourself a favor an make a few friends by picking up one (or five) of their superior loaves. 

La Vie en Rose

Postcards from the Everglades

 

So many pretty birdies.

 

Willa calls them "dirdies!"

And gets very, VERY excited to see them.

'Gator faces.

...and 'Gators!

To warm your heart

This ad makes me want to buy the world a Coke. Stay cozy y'all!

Some Important Safety Reminders for Holiday Travel

I'm usually guilty of ignoring the pre-flight safety brief, but I could watch this one over and over again.

Three little reasons why I love being a Mom.

You guys, this seriously just happened.

We had some little friends over today, including a darling 2-year-old named Carrie. As I was helping Carrie slip into her sparkly white sandals, Willa looked at me and said, "Mom, I want shoes." Now, Willa is nearly 17-months-old, and she is a Tillemann-Dick, so I was impressed but not flabbergasted with her short but grammatically correct utterance. And, since Willa has NEVER shown the SLIGHTEST interest in bipedal mobility (which, at nearly 17-months, is a bit crazy -- even for a Tillemann-Dick), it's true that I seldom put her in shoes of any sort. So, I told her as much. "Willa," I said, "when you start walking, I'll get you shoes." She looked at me with resignation, and replied with her standard, unenthusiastic "okaaaaaay."

Then, she stood up and took three, very deliberate, steps. Then she did it again.

So I ordered her some shoes.

****

In the car this afternoon, Hettie and I had the following conversation:

H: Mom, is Tom my uncle?
K: Nope. He's Mercina's boyfriend. Maybe they'll get married, and then he'd be your uncle.
H: So, you can just marry who you want to, as long as he's not your uncle or brother or cousin?
K: Well, it's a very important decision, so you have to think about it very carefully. But yes, you get to choose who you marry.
H: So, when I grow up and I'm an astronaut, I can marry Tom? If Mercina doesn't marry him first?
K: Ummmmm...
H: How long is Mercina going to be in Canada?

****

Also, I know it's not really responsible, but I kind of hope Phineas becomes a dancer.

The end.

Guess what? Apple Butt.

As requested, lyrics and original video after the jump:

Apple Bottom Jeans

by FLO Rida ft. T-Pain

{Chorus:}

She had them Apple Bottom Jeans/Boots with the fur/The whole club lookin at her/She hit the floor/Next thing you know/Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Them baggy sweat pants/And the Reeboks with the straps/She turned around and gave that big booty a smack/She hit the floor/Next thing you know/Shawty got low

I ain't never seen nuthin that'll make me go/This crazy all night spendin my dough/Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go/Dem birthday cakes, they stole the show

So sexual, she was flexible/Professional, drinkin X and ooo/Hold up wait a minute, do i see what I think I/Whoa

Did I think I seen shorty get low/Ain't the same when it's up that close/Make it rain, I'm makin it snow/Work the pole, I got the bank roll

Imma say that I prefer them no clothes/I'm into that, I love women exposed/She threw it back at me, I gave her more/Cash ain't a problem, got a pocket full of that!

{Chorus}

Shawty what I gotta do to get you home/My jeans full of gwap/they ready for Shones/Cadillacs Maybachs for the sexy grown/Patrone on the rocks that'll make you moan

One stack (come on)/Two stacks (come on)/Three stacks (come on, now that's three grand)/What you think I'm playin baby girl/I'm the man, I'll bend the rubber bands

That's what I told her, her legs on my shoulder/I knew it was ova, that Henny and Cola/Got me like a Soldier/She ready for Rover, I couldn't control her

So lucky oo me, I was just like a clover/Shorty was hot like a toaster/Sorry but I had to fold her/Like a pornography poster/She showed her

{Chorus}

Whoa Shawty/Yea she was worth the money/Lil mama took my cash/And I ain't want it back

The way she bit that rag/Got her them paper stacks/Tattoo Above her crack/I had to handle that

I was on it, sexy woman, let me shownin/They be want it two in the mornin/I'm zonin in them rosay bottles foamin

She wouldn't stop, made it drop/Shorty did that pop and lock/Had to break her off that gwap/It was fly just like my glock

{Chorus}