My Favorite Things

As much as I love to party, I'm a Grinch when it comes to my kids' birthdays. For the last six years, their celebrations consisted of playdates at the park or backyard BBQs with the aunties and uncles that, save a few candles, are really indistinguishable from any other festive family gathering. But last year, after letting Hettie's birthday slide (again), I was humbled and inspired when an adult friend shared how much she treasured the memories of her fifth birthday party. It reminded me of birthdays spectacular that Momo conjured out of love and thin air, and I realized: My kids are going to grow old whether I like it or not. Might as well try to create a bit of magic along the way, dammit.

All of which is to say, Hettie's sixth birthday party was pretty amazing, and it's all because I'm overcompensating (for oh, so many things!), and I really don't feel bad about it at all.

We watch The Sound of Music at our house. A lot. I have to admit, I'm pretty thrilled that, given free reign to choose what kind of a celebration she wanted, Hettie thought of a Favorite Things party all by herself. As soon as I envisioned all those little girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, I was sold. In fact, I'm pretty sure I changed the subject so that no other ideas could be suggested.

I knew I wanted to party to be spectacular, but also low stress enough that I could enjoy it. Thanks to Hettie's grown-up fan club and their very able assistance, brown paper packages and ice cream ponies came together like magic, and the day was gloriously fun -- for all of us!

The Details

Menu

Schnitzle with Noodles

Dog Bites

Fresh Fruit and Veggies

Bee Sting Punch with Kitten Whisker Straws

Crisp Apple Strudel with (Ice) Cream-colored Ponies

We bought apple strudel and pig-in-a-blanket "dog bites" ready-made from Costco. It doesn't get any easier than that! Which is good, because the rest of the menu was a little more involved...

For our schnitzle with noodles, I ordered the most delicious chicken cutlets from our favorite sandwich shop (you could really use any thin, schnitzley meat). We cut the chicken into thin strips and stuffed it inside cooked manicotti noodles along with a dollop of soft Boursin cheese and a small bunch of arugula. You could also roll the little bundles up in lasagna noodles, and secure it with a toothpick. I'll be honest, most of the kids preferred the (previously frozen) dog bites. But I was happy to have something so fun and delicious to serve the parents, too. 

Glorianna made the ponies using a cookie cutter the night before, and stored them in the freezer between sheets of wax paper. I am glad that Glorianna did this, because they were RIDICULOUSLY cute. And I never would have had the patience to bang out 15 of these. It is not easier than it looks.

We made fresh sparkling apple cider and some honey from Dave's hives on the roof for "Bee Sting Punch."

The Games:

Glorianna made the most precious silhouette of Hettie for "pin the snowflake on the nose and eyelashes." I was surprised at how much fun they had watching the other girls play. It was a huge hit.

We also had a "silver white winters that melt into spring" race -- an homage to the games of my own childhood birthdays, which inevitably included a ridiculous and ridiculously fun relay of some sort. This time, the girls had to run across the basement, don a coat, scarf, hat and mittens, take it all off, and then run back and tag their next teammate. We all sang songs from the sound of music soundtrack while they raced. Adorable.

More Details:

Glorianna made the "wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings" to hang over the table, and a big bunch of sleigh bells for the front door. The night before the party, I trimmed down some Costco roses and let the kids arrange the flowers themselves in a bright copper kettle we borrowed from Charity. It's all about the Oasis foam, people. Monkeys could make flowers look good with that stuff.

As the girls arrived, we tied on big blue satin sashes and let them make a necklace. I ordered the edelweiss charms from ETSY, and then my sweet brother, Zen, used simple jump rings and his giant man-fingers to attach the tiny sleigh bells and blue crystal pendants. If that's not love, I don't know what is. Hettie's guests ranged from 4-year-olds to third graders, so letting the girls choose between braided black silk and sparkly white floral ribbon kept things simple enough that everyone could participate and enjoy the process of creating something lovely -- without creating frustration or a mess!

Instead of gifts, Hettie asked her friends to bring "warm woolen mittens," which we gave to a friend who is a social worker to distribute to her young clients in need.

In addition to their necklaces, we sent our friends home with a packet of edleweiss seeds, and a brown paper package with some of Hettie's favorite things tucked inside -- chocolate and temporary tatts. Obvi.

I'm not over my birthdayphobia. But I loved pretty much everything about this sixth soiree. So much so, we're already kicking ideas around for Number Seven.

QQQQQuestion?

Are you able to tell when you have enough?

Kimber: Nope. If anyone has tips for developing this particular power of discernment, please do share.

Charity: Not to go all Confuciun on this answer, but the more I have, the more I think I need. The less I have, the more I realize I can live without.

Liberty: I'd like to say yes, but after a recent joyous conversation (partially motivated by 3 glasses of champagne), that concluded in a fit of public tears...the most accurate answer is probably closer to no.

Mercina: Probably not. This question makes me think of a diet Glorianna and I went on a few years ago. We attempted to eat only fruit. But after a few days we were feeling pretty woozy and indulged in some cookies. By indulged I mean we ate until we got sick. And we both felt awful for the rest of the day. Yeah, no.

Glorianna: Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean I stop.

QQQQQuestion?

What was the best part of your day?

Kimber: Willa joining me in the laundry room, WAY past her bedtime, and insisting on brushing my hair. When the midnight makeover was complete, she grabbed my cheeks between her tiny hands and whispered, "Mommy I make you so beautiful and happy."

Charity: Yoni and I went to a beautiful, magical party hosted by all of these wonderful women! It was so fun.

Liberty: Checking out Premal's cute bootie as we pedaled around Denver on our tandem bike.

Mercina: Seeing a mother duck and her SIXTEEN ducklings during a walk around the lake.

Glorianna: I was going through a lot of old pictures, so it's probably finding:

and

What about you? What was the best part of your day today?

How to take young children anywhere

Mimo and I have a regular date on Fridays. Usually, we take the kids to visit a museum or paint pottery, or we drop by Union Market for smoked fish and ice cream. But last week, when I got to her house, she was sitting in her favorite chair, surrounded by a mountain of photo albums. We spent the whole afternoon pouring over pictures from her amazing life. Our grandpa, Didi, was elected to congress the year that I was born, and spent the next 28 years dragging me and the rest of his grandchildren to completely inappropriate places. For that brazen disregard of protocol and better judgement, I will be eternally grateful.

These days, my kids and I don't have occasion to crash state dinners, but I do look to my fearless grandparents as inspiration when deciding whether to get a sitter or bring the team. If you're feeling bold, Here are my top 5 tips for bringing your kids anywhere...* 

*I also feel I need to insert a disclaimer for anyone who has been to church with my kids. I don't know what it is -- maybe the hyper-familiarity of once-a-week worship with so many of their best little friends? But my tricks don't seem to work there. Once we walk through the chapel doors, it's kind of in God's hands....

- Dress the part. I know it's shallow, but people, especially strangers, are more likely to tolerate a pint-sized entourage if it's absolutely, irresistibly, you're-a-bad-person-if-you-don't-want-to-kiss-this-baby cute. And, no matter how precious the raw material, adorable duds are non-negotiable. This is particularly true for those of use whose children continue to give the impression of baldness well into the third year....

- Prep your posse. Let your kids know what to expect. If we're going to a speech, I like to read them a book or let them watch a movie about the speaker. If we're going to a gallery, we'll learn a little about some of the artists whose work we'll see, or a bit about the history of a particular style or period in art history. If I don't plan well enough in advance to get a children's bio from the library or Amazon, putting Wikipedia into language they understand does the trick.  I try to let them know about how long they have to behave, and keep them updated as the event progresses. I also believe unapologetically in strategic bribery. If the kids know that their good behavior is going to be rewarded with something specific that they really want, they're pretty good at trying their best.

- Make them work. Give kids a job to keep them occupied. I like to let Phinny and Hettie push the stroller through museums. Once or twice in my life I've been organized enough to have some sort of event-specific Bingo game or scavenger hunt, which motivates them to really pay attention to what's going on around them (though -- word from the wise -- be sure to warn them in advance NOT to yell "Bingo!" at the top of their lungs in a crowded auditorium. Quiet victories, friends. Quiet victories...). Amazon has a great collection of historic, scientific, artistic and geographic coloring books, as do many gift shops at museums and National Parks. Sometimes, it's as simple as a pad of paper to draw pictures about their feelings during a speech. I prefer to make the task somehow related to our situation, however tangentially, rather than merely distracting.

- Brace yourself. People disapprove of children. Not all people, thankfully. But a lot of them. You WILL get dirty looks from strangers who think your kids are their business -- even in completely child-appropriate situations, even when your kids are behaving perfectly. Some people are just ruffled by the existence of small humans. That's not your problem. When those looks inevitably come, remind yourself that everyone was once a kid. And I promise you that every single child that ever existed -- including the one that grew up to be the sour-faced meanie who was obviously, aggressively disgusted by my children sweetly frolicking at the pool -- has gotten on the nerves of some grown-up stranger at least once or twice. So, just prepare yourself for some disparaging glances and possibly snide remarks, and take comfort in knowing that the disdainful stranger was once the small person acting out and getting on other people's nerves. Also, make sure you really appreciate all the incredibly kind strangers who will go out of their way to compliment your monsters and remind you how precious and fleeting this time with your wee ones is.

- Always have an exit plan. Quit when you're ahead -- which usually means leaving before you're really ready to go. If all else fails, cut your losses and RUN, don't walk, as soon as you realize your kids are DONE. Practically, this means a few things. I try to schmooze right at the beginning, so the key people at any function know how glad I am to be there -- and that I might need to make a quick exit. I try not to buy tickets that are so expensive I couldn't bear leaving at intermission. I aim for seats on the aisle, and case the nearest exit before festivities begin. I try not to carpool unless it's a) in my own car, and, b) the other party has another viable option for getting home if I need to bail early. My sisters can attest to this, since I've abandoned them at venues all over D.C....

Postcards from the Everglades

 

So many pretty birdies.

 

Willa calls them "dirdies!"

And gets very, VERY excited to see them.

'Gator faces.

...and 'Gators!

Song To a Fair Young Lady Going Out of Town in the Spring

Ask not the cause why sullen spring

So long delays her flow'rs to bear;

Why warbling birds forget to sing,

And winter storms invert the year?

Willa is gone; and Fate provides

To make it spring where she resides.

*I hope John Dryden forgives me for taking the slightest bit of liberty with his charming ditty. I don't know Chloris, to whom he originally penned the poem, but it's certain that Willa's been hogging good weather lately. Sincerest apologies to those she's left behind in the Polar Vortex!

Make Cake, Not War.

Did you know World Nutella Day is a thing? Honestly, I wish I didn't. But since my cousin clued me in and had a party and invited me to come, I couldn't very well feign ignorance. Given the auspiciousness of the celebration, baking a cake seemed like a perfectly reasonable way to spend a blustery Saturday. And I knew just the cake for the occasion.

Hungarian nut tortes are really nostalgic for me. They remind me of every golden afternoon I ever spent in a sun-drenched café on the Duna Corso. Momo made one for my 22nd birthday that BLEW MY MIND -- particularly because my little brother sneaked in to hand deliver it at the Missionary Training Center. (For those of you not Mormon enough to fully understand this -- imagine Jason Bourne breaking into the boys camp in Moonrise Kingdom, and then singing like the nuns in Sister Act. With a chocolate cake. It was just like that.) It's been a few years, so I think it's finally safe to tell that story....

This isn't a particularly complicated recipe, but it does have a lot of steps. And if you're completing each of these steps with the not-at-all-able assistance of six small hands that each need to be rewashed every time the attached child decides to lick a finger or pick a nose (not necessarily belonging to that same small child), it can easily occupy you and your tiny sous chefs for an entire afternoon.

Aaaaaanyway. This is an awesome cake. It's gluten free, but just because it's always been that way -- no weird chemistry or strange ingredients required. Traditionally, these are also dairy free, but they can also be a little dry. As I contemplated this dilemma, while looking at my beautiful batter that I really hoped would bake into a moist, fragrant cloud, I asked myself, "WWJD" (which, in my kitchen at least, means "What Would Jutka Do?"). I closed my eyes, reverently reflected on the principles of Hungarian cookery for which my ancestors died (Or nearly died -- Didi had a quintuple bypass, people!). Then, I reached for the sour cream. Obvi.

The result is light and moist, elegant and a little different. It's also super-flexible: delicious with fresh fruit and simple whipped cream, or it can hold its own with a more robust frosting like this one. Whipped egg whites folded into the batter give it a marvelously light, airy texture, but it's sturdy enough to withstand a solid drizzle of liqueur or syrup. I have a hunch you could turn it into a wicked tiramisu. You get the idea....

Hungarian Hazelnut Torte
with Mocha-Nutella Buttercream

2.5 cups whole hazelnuts

2 tsp. baking powder

a pinch of good salt

2/3 cup sugar

8 eggs, separated

1/3 cup sour cream

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Line the bottom of a 9" pan with parchment paper, and then generously grease the whole thing. If you happen to have a springform pan, use that. But I don't have one the proper size, so I just used a regular cake pan and it was fine.

Toss the hazelnuts on a sheet pan and broil them for a few minutes, shaking the pan once or twice, until the husks are loose and the nuts start to brown. Hettie and Phineas absolutely loved rubbing the cooled nuts between their palms to remove the skins. They made a huge mess, but they probably would have made a mess doing something else, too, so.... Discard the papery skins (or sweep them up from where your kids have already discarded them on the floor) and finely grind the nutmeats in a food processor or powerful blender. Mix the ground nuts thoroughly with the baking power and a nice pinch of salt. Now is a good time to turn the oven to 325*.

Take your separated egg whites and beat them to stiff peaks. In a clean bowl, beat the yolks with the sugar until they get fluffy and change color to a very pale yellow. (Jutka taught me that if you beat the whites first, you don't need to wash your mixer in between. Genius!). Add the vanilla and sour cream to the luscious yolks, then mix in the nuts. Very gently, fold a cup or so of the heavy nut goo into your fluffy whites, then delicately combine the whole thing. Ease this nutty billow into your prepared pan, and bake for about one hour, until the center springs back lightly when touched.

Invert it onto a rack and cool completely before splitting, filling and frosting. I made a dark chocolate-Nutella ganache for the middle, and used this Nutella frosting recipe on top, with a teaspoon of instant coffee added with the sugar for depth. It was SO good ...But if I were going to do it again, I'd skip the ganache and instead sandwich fresh raspberries between thin layers of Nutella, straight up. Because it's hard to improve on perfection, and everything is better with fresh raspberries. And, since I'm being really honest, I didn't actually measure anything for the frosting -- just kinda guessed and dumped. Which I don't recommend, because my texture ended up just a tiny bit funky. But these are details. Trust me: this one's a winner.